I agree 100%! Parents want to be friends not parents. My little girl knows how to behave in public. I dont spank, beat etc, but she still knows that there will be trouble if she misbehaves. I think people feel guilty about punishing their kids and they need to get over that quick.... thats why there are all those damn nanny shows on the tv!Why does it seem that so many parents have lost their parenting skills today?
The idea of family has been redfined. today divorce is much more common, and financial success is far too important for many, therefore leaving the parenting to either an older sibling, or a teenage babysitter. Also, there are more families (the ones with 2 parents) with both parents out of the house and in the workforce. i am not saying that it is a bad thing--to each his own, however, because work may be a priority over the child (at times), the one who ultimately sufferes is the child---not the parent for having to work late.
Your right, now days we think that there's a way without spanking but it depends on every child because all are different. My kid needs a spank here and there sometimes and when i do it he calms down. U gotta be strict now that they're little and talk to them with a firm voice like u mean it. And i agree society now days thinks different and it's getting worse that's why kids are so out of control because they've been like that since they were little. Us parents need to focus more on their education.
Parents today are wimps
B/c now, more kids are birthing %26amp; raising kids...
Because to many people are sicking thier noses where they dont belong.
It is because they flash that 1 800 number on TV damn them! and they teach them in school that a wack on the butt is against the law. they also give them a councelor to ';talk'; to about thier problems at home as they hand them condoms and set them up with an abortion without parents concent. we dont own our children anymore the state has taken over. the last 3 years with your kid before they turn 18 is the worst ever.
You may rest assured that you will not experience inappropriate public behavior out of my children. I have seen to it.
There are so many lawsuits from the children to the parents, that they are afraid of going to jail!!! I personally don't care and will give my child an open-handed back slap in the mouth and a spanking if they ever disrespect me.
There seems to be alot more of what I call ';psycho bable'; with kids now days. I mean that more and more parents instead of busting their kids rears, like would have been done 100 years ago, they want to ';talk about why your so angry'; to their 4 year olds. Do they really think that this works? You can not treat a child like an adult and analize why they are acting bad or why they said this or that. Also too many of those ';anti-spanking parents'; are poking their noses into other parents business and if you scold your kid in public, threaten to spank them, or actually do spank them, they criticize you or report you to CPS. If more kids were raised like kids were in the old days (1800's) then we wouldnt have all the little foul mouthed hoolagins running around.
its because people do not care and they are scared of the laws now a days. im 22 and I know better. you need discipline in your life or when the kid hits adulthood they are going to struggle when someone says no to them. the people who made the laws are sick indiviuals and the ones who tell women and men how to act. such as in the magizines. do women really want a girly guy? and do guys want women to acta certain way ect? no! everything in society is backwards now and will continue to get worse. as long as you try if you have kids then thats all that matters.
I agree, it's getting ridiculous. I was in a movie theatre the other day and a child kept kicking the back of my chair. I looked behind me and noticed the mother was letting the kid do this. If my mother saw me doing that, I'd immediately get hit and scolded.
Seems like an improvement over my parents parenting: ';go cut a switch from the apple tree so I can beat you for your minor infraction.';
2 things...
1. We parents (sometimes me included by the way) have a hard time being parents rather than ';friends'; to our kids.
2. Many, many children do not have enough face time with their parents due to double workschedules, divorces, one parent household, etc. For example, my sis-in-law's ex plays their son against her and the son gets everything he wants from his dad (who can afford it). Sometimes the friend thing is a problem in this instance too as you can see.
You are one of the lucky few that had a good parent. Parenting skills are learned from your parents. Unfortunately, there is no school for parents or a test you must take to ensure you have the basics before conceiving a child. So, it ends up being bad parents rearing future bad parents.
I'm with you all the way...My kids were so well disciplined at a young age that I have no problem with them now that they're pre-teens/teenagers. It's these parents who want their kids to ';express themselves'; who are out of hand. Self expression is fine but kids need to know their boundaries so that they'll grow up to be decent, responsible, respectable and respectful adults.
You said it right. I'm the same way, except that because of today's society I will not spank in public, yes, the overeaction of others concern me. Yet it makes me wonder how they could judge someone for keeping their kids in line and theirs are lying on the floor screaming their lungs out. I like to keep the saying ';Spare the rod, spoil the child'; Children NEED discipline, they also NEED encouragement and praise for good behavior.
It is a delicate balance that maybe parents are afraid to try to conquer, in fear of screwing their kids up, and yet they don't realize they're giving their kids a view of the world that won't fit when they grow up. They're not going to always get their way, and in the work place, friendships, and marriage they are going to have to comprimise and deal with the consequences of doing something wrong, hurtful, or disrespectful.
I think too many people are selfish and think of themselves first from conceiving a child to raising them. They are lazy and rely on their own ';natural'; instincts thinking that's enough to raise a child, instead of taking parenting classes or at least reading magazines for advice. They're too lazy to get up off the couch and discipline a child when they need it. Discipline requires consistent repetition for results and too many parents are just too lazy to keep up with that. Easier to let little ';Festus'; run around than deal with it. Then when Festus is out of control they try meds or just act like there is nothing they can do even though they've ';tried everything'; when they've really just sat on their *** when he was young and impressionable. It's all self-centered laziness if you ask me and kids require and deserve more than that. If parents are unsure how to handle things then they need to reach out for advice. Even those that are divorced (including me) and have to deal with another household and those rules (and gifts and attitudes) affecting a child, can control what happens in their own home and what those expectations are. I'm not a believer in spanking, but the ';naughty chair'; works wonders, and with my older boys removing them from their social circle when necessary gets them straightened up real quick, so every kid is different and requires individual upbringing. It's the parent's responsibility to find what works with teaching their children how to act and to keep up with them. A small child will think screaming is okay if no one has taught them different, so it's not the kids fault. I do hold the parents responsible.
i was raised with the threaten, beat, terrorize system of upbringing and it is/was insane, IMO. all it did was teach me to sneak behind their menacing, vicious backs to do my thing. there was no respect or love - just intense fear and livid hatred! we weren't raised better at all, IMO.
we are seeing a swing in parenting styles from too much to too little control/discipline. i agree that todays parents have fallen into the 'no-pain' area but there is something in between that actually requires that a person be raised with it. permissive upbringing promotes permissive parenting and tyrannical upbringing promotes tyrannical parenting although a person brought up under tyranny may fear hurting their own kids and go to a permissive style. it may seem like common sense but it isn't. folks will do and be like they were raised as in your 'not afraid to punish' style. i'd only hope that the new generations who are not being raised with fear will also bring up fearless kids because my fearful generation suffered badly for the tyranny we grew up with even if some of you think our 'beat them into obedience' upbringing was superior to todays kids.
i think that child abuse has a lot to do with it now. if you spank your kids, someone will call and report you for abusing your child.
you cant disipline your child the way other generations have been able to.
and a lot of it is the family unit itself. most are single moms who cant handle the child abuse charges. if my kids act the way that a lot of them do, i would have had to face child abuse charges because i taught my kids to respect their elders. my kids have respect.
and i gave them respect and didnt try to pass them on to someone else because i didnt want to be bothered either. i always figured if i couldnt take my kids, then i didnt need to go either. my mother didnt try to raise my kids like a lot of other grandparents that ive seen. i had to take care of them myself and a lot of others had other options.
my kids are pretty much grown and they are close and im close to all of them. step right along with my own. mine were taught what family is all about.
a lot of kids now dont have that
People are too wrapped up in other worldly things and put their children on the back burner. Then there are those who are too wrapped up in psychology and listening to people like Dr. Spock stating that if we spank our children, they will be damaged for life. (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide by the way) I am a psych major, but I know where to draw the line. People need to raise their children to be responsible, sontributing, respectful adults. If you have to spank them to get the job done, then do it!
They're trying to be their kids' friends instead of their parents.
Good for you! Far too many parents worry about emotionally damaging their children. The fact is if a child is not taught to behave, they will not know how to behave. Babies are not born knowing how to act or react. The one that really gets me is the parent who thinks they will logically speak to a small child in an effort to have the child behave. Children learn at home how to act. If the child is not made to behave at home, why would they somehow magically behave in public?
You are right in your outlook on the responsibilities you have to your children as their parent, to help them become decent citizens. Keep it up. I know your children's teachers will greatly appreciate your parenting. Far too many parents want to consider what is fair to the child. The same child will then have a hard time when life does not treat them with the same fair treatment as mom and dad.
Parents have not lost their skills. The sad truth is that they never took the time to acquire the skills before becoming parents.
That is because the children of today, are being raised by the 80's and 90's generation parents. For them, it seems that they don't know how to discipline their kids. Parents are afraid of their kids and want to be their friends instead of guides and teachers.
I have no problem correcting my kids either in public, but my husband does. So, I have learned to wait until we get home.
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