How can I start to enjoy step parenting?

My boyrfriend has an 18 yr old (she's a problem, but not mine), and he has a 5 year old. We have her week on and week off, will I ever start to like this role. I like her, I don't love her, and I do this for my boyfriend. I always feel left out and used somewhat. I just want some advice from other chosen childless women, how do you put up with being a parent. It's not that I hate it, but I do dread it most of the time. Will it get any better? It's almost been a year.How can I start to enjoy step parenting?
First ask yourself this--Is this a load you want to carry? If having a relationship with a man that has the responsability of children is right for you? I know you asked for women without children..but I think what I have to say is of some value--I was married had two children then devorced at 25--so I wasnt ready to give up dating by far--I dated two diffrent men ((at seperate times)) and they both had kids as I did--I thought in dating someone with kids would be better...Well i never had a problem with theirs I grew to care about them and enjoyed watching them interact with their Dad. But I learned that the men didnt take well to my kids..They are great kids have grown to great adults..So what I'm getting at here is maybe you just arnt ready to have a relationship with someone with child? Maybe you need to find a man who either has no children or all grown children--Its O.K. not to want to parent anothers child I had to learn that through experence. Its hard and hurts to have to walk away from someone you love because they have other obligations that dont fit in your life..but in the long run? Its better..this is a 5 year old that knows nothing more than wanting the love her father has for her--in time your feelings of being used as you stated will become more than feelings and actions of resentments will take the place


Thats only going to cause problems between you and your bo--he will choose his child over you..the thing about kids? you have them for life...to love and honor to give them all that they need to grow and become nurturing adults with the possibility of being parents themselves..So if you are unable to instill these behaviors in the little one? then you need to make a seriouse decission...


I hope I have helped some Bless you in a road traveled too often..How can I start to enjoy step parenting?
i wish you the best of luck..personally its not a situation i'd want to be in. it might sound awful but other peoples children don't do anything for me, i meet so few that were taught to behave to the standards that i expected from mine and when they act like little raging brats you cant do anything about it because they aren't yours. i'm sure lots of people will have wonderful advice for you i just wanted to wish you luck!
Doesn't sound like it will ever get any better. She's 18? how much of a problem can that really be? She's an adult, not a child, she doesn't need you as a parent...so first, I'd stop trying to parent her, and just talk to her like you would any other adult..maybe you can establish a friendship..or at least a kinship...instead of trying to be a parent..
Love her, try not to take her mom's place. I had a really good step-mom that came into my life when I was around 12. She has rules in her house, and expected them to be followed. She had us do chores. And she showed us (and told!) that she loved us. Great woman that taught me alot of things. Don't yell or spank. NEVER ever punish in anger. Its his kid, let him punish. Or if you do, ours always sat us in a corner. Kinda old-fashioned, but she NEVER raised a hand to us (and that would be ammo for the mom to use against you, yuck!)You don't want her to see you as a threat. My Dad got us odd weekends and we almost always went somewhere as a family. LOTS of trips to surrounding nature preserves. Just try to love her, one day hopefully you'll just wake up and will. Find out things about her and make an honest effort to just enjoy her.