Do people who have no children insist on giving you parenting advice?

My oldest is almost 17 (also have 2 other boys 15 and 8) and from the time that I concieved, I constantly had people telling me what I should or shouldnt do, espcially my brother who has no children and has pretty much never even been around kids. I think its one thing when a parent gives you advice since they had already been through the same things but when they've had no children then put thier 2 cents in, dontcha just wanna say ';Did I ask you??';





BTW, this is a general Q. I dont have a specific problem I am referring to. I guess this is more like a rant.


And my brother, I rarely even talk to anymore so....Do people who have no children insist on giving you parenting advice?
I agree. Its very annoying and usually the ';advice'; is very flawed. Its easy to read something in a book or on a website and then go spouting it to mothers. Its another thing to have struggled through the issue with your own kids and have a few suggestions that worked for you.


The first time my sister asked potty training advice, I gave it to her. My mouth hit the floor when she called me back the next day and said it was working. I never expected her to try it that fast, or accept it so fast. I was happily shocked!Do people who have no children insist on giving you parenting advice?
I have dealt with this problem. Right before the hurricane hit this year, my husband and I had some errands that we HAD to do that day. It was raining. We stopped at Subway to get something to eat, and brought my then 8 or 9 month old son in with us. We parked right in front of the restaurant so that that our son wouldn't get wet. On the way out a highschooler said ';Why do parents bring their kids out in weather like this?'; to her friend. I guess she thought she said it quiet enough that I wouldn't hear her. I replied, very loudly, ';I love it when people with no kids tell you how to raise yours'; and walked out the door. She got very embarrassed b/c everyone else in the restaurant turned around to look at her. Someone told me the best way to deal with this is to say ';Thank you. When I feel you are capable of raising my child, I will take you up on your advice.';


All that while smiling. I'm learning it never goes away. Now I just tell people that he's my son, so it doesn't really matter what they say.
I know what you mean.I also hate when somebody has a terrible marriage and they want to give you';bad'; advice on how you should treat your man.If they have such good ideas than why is their marriage falling apart. Crazy..
Drives me NUTS! I am almost 14 weeks pregnant, and right now EVERYONE is an expert! I work in a bar partime, and have one particular regular customer that is single with no kids that insists I am having a girl, he says he was right with all his nieces and newpews, WHO CARES? Not me, but I just try to smile and nod. You are far from alone.
I totally understand. My child is almost 15 months now, all you really can do is smile and nod, just ignore them... only you know what is best for your child.
I agree with you 100%. The people who say they are qualified to give advice because they work with children make me laugh! I've worked as a nanny, Sunday school teacher, daycare worker, infant care managaer, after school care program provider, elementary school teacher and I took class upon class about child psychology. Guess what? NONE of it prepared me for parenthood. NONE OF IT! Working with kids and being a parent yourself are two very different experiences and you cannot even come close to comparing them. Unless you have your own children you just have no idea what it is like. I used to think I knew. I thought I'd know what to do in any situation. Kids were my career! I was good at it. I even won awards for my work with kids! And still I struggle on a daily basis with my own children and I often feel I have no idea what I'm doing. There are days I cry because I'm clueless. I'm now expecting my third child. I'm thrilled but it isn't easy and I don't want anyone who hasn't done it telling me how.





I watch NASCAR every week. I know a lot about the sport. I know a lot about cars. But I'm not about to go tell a driver how to race his car. Until I've been behind the wheel I've got no experience to base my advice on. If you've not been a parent then I don't want your 2 cents. It looks really easy to the spectator but it is much harder than it looks.
I totally know how you feel. Isn't it totally annoying?


My brother inlaw has no kids and he pretty much doesn't like kids. Whenever my 2 year old cryes or throws a tantrum, he is always being so rude to my son and to me about how i need to handle the situation. One day i finally told him that he is my sons uncle and that he needs to be alot nicer to him. Ever since then he has cooled down alot. And i told him that it's always the ones that don't have kids that think that they know EVERYTHING about raising a child. And Talk alot of crap about kids. Im sorry that your going through that. I wish we could send all of those types of people to a deserted island!! Good Luck!!
Not to give any discredit to your 'rant', but have you considered the fact that the person giving the advice was once parented. It's misleading to imply that a person without children have no parenting experience. On the contrary, everyone has had experience with parenting, whether they were the parent or the parented. It's possible that the experience these people have been through has given them some insight as to how parenting should be done. I, for example (a parent btw) was physically abused as a child and it hurt alot. Now, I as a child know that physical abuse is wrong, because of how it affected me. Does that experience mean I have no authority to say that parents shouldn't abuse their children just because I have no children yet?


Now I'm not saying that people without children have, by virtue of their subjective experiences, authority in the field of parenting. They simply lack the perspective of a parent, but have been subjected to experiences that give them a certain level of informed decision-making with regard to parenting...


Sorry if this offends anyone. It was truly not my intention.
I agree I have an uncle who gives child advice all the time funny thing is he abandoned kids kids at age 2 and 5 so what could he really know about raising teenagers.
I agree... I think it is totally annoying for people who have never been through anything from parenting to marriage to give advice. If you haven't been there, shut up. Thanks for letting me rant too! Hope you have a great Thanksgiving!!
sometimes a lot is learned from taking a step back , away from the situation, to understand and see what's happening. if you are in the situation , sometimes you're too close to see thru the fog.





with age comes wisdom - children or not
I know, i have a friend who is a schol nurse and she thinks she knows best or my child! it drives me crazy when i tel him to do someyhing she will say, Aiden you better listen to your mom, I dont like that! Like I need her 2 cents about it! NO THANK YOU!
Yes, they do....but you must not let it get you down....just say to yourself quietly wait till you have kids.......
Just relax!....My sister was the exact same way!!...Until she had kids of her own...It is amazing how much they begin to understand!!...And you can sit back and enjoy!!...lol...You will be like ';Ohhhh really?!...'; while you are laughing your booty off at them...Because they all of a sudden DON'T have ALL the answers!!...
i agree. when i was childless i used to wonder why some woman made it seem so difficult. i always seemed to know exactly how to handle the situation. now that i have my son its so different.
Yes, we have a family member who did this before she had children. She did it to me / friends of ours that became pregnant. After many ';you should do / you shouldn't do'; my girlfriend simply told her, you have no idea what you are talking about...you have never had children and you are the youngest in your family...give it up, we don't want your two cents!
If having kids is a pre-requisite for having an opinion on how kids should be handled, how did you raise your first-born?


You're assuming that those who offered advice were purposely questioning your parental authority, when in actual fact were only trying to help.


I have studied child psychology and worked with problem kids. Am I not qualified to have an opinion, as you suggest?
i agree....i don't mind advice from other parents who know what they are talking about...like my mom...i love hearing and taking her advice she has been a parent alot longer then me and always has good advice....but some of my friends who have no children try to tell me what i should do and at times it upsets me....and some of the things they come up with are crazy...why do i need advice from someone who has no clue that how i feel at times....
I totally agree with you!!! If people don't have kids...they don't have a clue about parenting children. I find it very annoying when someone who doesn't have kids thinks they have all the answers as to how to raise the perfect child! : )
YES. I've caught myself doing this once or twice to a co-worker and have shut my mouth about it ever since. It's the wierdest thing because I don't know why I did it either.
I agree people should just mind their own biz...I sometimes wonder the same thing Next time turn it around on them and give them advece on something very personal in THEIR lives
YES!!!! My boyfriends' step-mom has never had kids of her own, but yet judged me for all of the decisions that my boyfriend and I have made with our two-year old daughter. She gave her two cents about everything from the type of formula we fed her, to the reasons why she was spitting up, fussiness, EVERYTHING! Believe me, I bit my tongue many many times so I wouldn't start a big fued, but it drove me nuts that she would give me advice when she has had no children herself.
yes i feel you on that one and yes i understand because how can you give someone advice about something you have no clue about that just like with me people say i care about myself only but they can't say that because they haven't been through wat i been through right?