What are your main goals in parenting/education of kids?

I asked this before and got only one answer, I will try to ask this in a bit different way:


From what I read here about the wide acceptance of corporal punishment of kids here I get the impression that many people here see obediance to parents as their main goal no matter at what cost, esp. as there were also people who wrote the main reason to spank a child would be the word ';no'; from the mouth of the child. Now what I want to know is if this is really such a widespread thinking in America and how far do people believe in other, positive goals of parenting and education like the happiness of their children, their ability to critical thinking and their ability to solve problems without force.What are your main goals in parenting/education of kids?
I really struggle with this. I don't want to discipline my child to the point that I'm changing who she is. There are times that she's quite mischievous and does things that most parents would get mad at and discipline over, but I over look them. I don't budge on some things though, for example on respect, if she disrespects me, or anyone else, then she will get punished, usually by time out. And I'm teaching her that she does not have the right to hurt another person, physically or emotionally. I know in some areas that parents would think that I am too lax or let her get away with too much, but I recognize her own quirky, sweet personality. As far as critical thinking and problem solving, when she does something wrong, I will ask her what she could have done different and what she thinks she will do next time. Sometimes when we are out she will see kid throwing a tantrum or something (which of course she has done too) and when we get home she will tell me something about that kid and about what that kid could have done differently to not end up getting in so much trouble. I love her observation skills and reasoning ability!What are your main goals in parenting/education of kids?
1. keep them out of jail, 2.get them a college degree, the rest should take care of its self.
Our goal is to raise a happy, healthy child with a positive outlook on life. We strive to make our family a warm, loving environment, and what we do here translates for our child in the wider world. He is a big-hearted, loving kid who cares for others' feelings, sees no difference in colours or religions, is intelligent and clever - and is very well-rounded. The biggest thing is the positive environment and being encouraging and understanding.
I think that the best way to raise a kid is to make sure they are sure of themselves. Beating a child to me shows a lack of control on the parents behalf. If a child is brought up with love and confidence in himself, then you can trust him to follow through. Also, it is a matter of what he learns from you. If you are violent, racial, gossiping, or hateful, he is going to learn that behavior. Start them while they are young, teach them that all people are to be respected and at whatever age. It is okay to show respect for others besides their elders. Some elders are not worthy of their respect and that is okay too. Children need to know that there are adults who are not to be trusted.





Let your children know that they are capable of doing all kinds of things and they usually thrive on the knowledge that you have confidence in them. If you constantly treat a child that they are not trusted till they prove themselves they will not think it is the normal thing. Treat them as you want to be treated in this regard. Love them always and let them know that your love will never stop even if they do mess up but it is okay to let them know when you do not particularly love their behavior at the moment when they act up. They will learn what is unacceptable and what is acceptable with encouragement and understanding from the parent.
I want my children to be smart,funny,caring,giving,independant...鈥?hope they go to college %26amp; do every good thing they have ever wanted to do. I say college because I didn't %26amp; now I pay the price in the way of not being able to get a job that pays the bills %26amp; sitter. I try to stress the importance of college to them ALL the time.
Where I live (Sweden), corporal punishment is prohibited by law.


Most of the kids grow up just fine, so there certainly IS another way...
I do spank. Not on a regular basis. I'd say each child is spanked an average of 10 times a year. If that. I started spanking when they were about 2. When I do spank, they get one swat, with my flat hand, on their butt. No other body parts, especially the face. My goal is not to hurt them, but to get their attention. Even my five year old doesn't cry when she is spanked, but cries in time out. First is a verbal warning and a talk about the behavior that is expected and how to give that behavior, unless phyicalality was involved, then a time out is in order too. (If you want that toy, you cannot hit Becky to get it. Instead, try trading a toy with her, and if she doesn't want to, come and tell me. Then I can set a timer for her to have a turn and when the timer goes off, it will be your turn.) I have a 12 year old, a 9 year old and a 5 year old. They are all very well rounded, respectly, and loving children. They get good grades in school (straight A's and A's and B's), are active in sports and clubs in school as well as out of school. I have a wonderful relationship with every one of them. I disagree with spanking for stupid reasons. It should be a last resort. If you are spanking your children all of the time, (more than twice a month) you should take a step back and put yourself in your child's shoes. Ask yourself if your child is understanding her misbehavior. My children do not tell me no because they know it is unacceptable and would disappoint me. If they occasionally do, I simply stop, and look at them and say ';excuse me?'; with a look, and they take it back. I hope this helps.
I want my children to feel the love I didn't feel from my mother. I want them to feel safe and secure. I want them to think for them selves and make the right decisions (that's where correction and guidence comes in). I want them to grow up to be whatever they want to be when they grow up. (as long as it's not ';I want to be a junkie when I grow up';) I want them to respect their bodies too.